How to Sell a Haunted House

While sweating through my morning workout on the elliptical, I was absolutely horrified to learn that the folks at HGTV have stolen the title of my next novel.

How to Sell a Haunted House

Darn them!  I knew I should have mailed off those 20 pages of scribbled notes and that half-baked plot outline to the U.S. Copyright Office. Now HGTV is going to suck up all the credit and reap all of the glorious rewards for my brilliant idea.  I wonder how they managed to hack into my computer?  Wait, maybe someone in my 2007 NaNoWriMo writing group stole my idea then sold it to HGTV.  Yeah…I’ll bet that’s what happened.

(Uh, by the way, the previous paragraph is a joke.  The #1 hallmark of an amateur, unprofessional writer is a deep fear that people are going to “steal” all of his/her good ideas.  Also, FYI, putting a copyright symbol on submission pages is regarded by publishing professionals as pretty much the same thing as stamping “I think you’re a thief and a liar, but I want you to be my agent/editor” on your manuscript.)

But seriously, after I recovered from my initial annoyance over the fact that HGTV hijacked the tentative working title for a novel that I have not even started to write, I was tremendously excited to check out this online article.

I found it to be a rather sad effort – overly simplistic and disappointing.  Phooey! How did the writer manage to take such a quirky, colorful topic and turn it into something so bland and boring?

I wanted real stories.  I wanted spooky pictures of real haunted houses that were sold in this tough real estate market.  I wanted wild-eyed spiritualist real estate agents who specialize in finding and/or selling real haunted properties.  Come on!  Don’t hijack a fantastic title for a mundane piece of drivel!

Ah well, back to pounding out my next ghost story.  Stay tuned…

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One thought on “How to Sell a Haunted House

  1. Hey, Slaywriter. I hear you on being scooped by HGTV. Like house hunters show. What a great idea.

    I hear you on that you wanted real stories and spooky pictures of real haunted houses that were marketed and sold. When you say you “wanted wild-eyed spiritualist real estate agents who specialize in finding and/or selling real haunted properties” I imagine that would be R.E. agents who specialize in distressed properties.

    Yes, all that would be entertaining and more so than the Ghost Hunter show on another network, TLC I think. Could you submit a plot outline to HGTV or TLC with a different title? They are owned by Scripps Networks Interactive, with offices in Atlanta. I had a friend who submitted plot outlines to Sherwood Schwartz and one of them became a Gilligan’s Island teleplay for an episode.

    As an exercise, can the readers of this blog suggest a different title for How to Sell a Haunted House as a tv show. Ex., Spooky House Appeal.

    You all, next…..

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