[Insert Clever, Sane Title Here]

How are your New Year’s resolutions going? Mine are going so poorly, I’ve definitely decided to make Chinese New Year my NEW New Year’s resolution day.

That said, I am NOT going to burden y’all with a list of my personal failures. (Sometimes I bore even myself!). So, no.

Let’s skip to the good news…I have declared 2012 to be my Submit-a-Palooza! This means I’m going to submit my first novel like a crazy person. I am not allowed to give up until I’ve received at least 100 rejections.

(Oh please God, don’t let me receive 99 rejections!)

And I am ON TRACK with this resolution. Not wanting to prolong the agony, I’ve registered for the Writer’s Digest Conference & Pitch Slam…which takes place tomorrow. I could squeeze in 20-30 rejections in one short day. Woo hoo.

UGH! [Fill in here with lots of filth flarn filthy language] Why is this so freaking difficult?

Here I sit in a LOVELY restaurant called Remi (seriously, check it out online cause I’m not sure I really linked to it on the iPad version of WordPress). I’m eating gorgeous roasted baby artichokes and barely tasting them. No, I’m too busy obsessively reading/re-reading my pitch notes and wishing I could just DIE! Right now I would rather hurl myself off the roof of the Sheraton than face the humiliating gauntlet of Pitch Slam tomorrow. But I will do it. I will. And then I will bitch about it here.

Stay tuned for humiliations galore….