This is how we celebrate the wearing o’ the green Mike & Trisha style.
Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.
Zoey ate a chicken bone. In fact, she devoured it. Not a tiny little rib or wing bone. Oh, no! My little food-obsessed feline freak found an unattended thigh bone on the counter and gobbled it up in less than a minute.
It didn’t seem possible. Despite all of the evidence that suggested she had managed this gluttonous feat, we searched everywhere for that darned bone, certain she had simply pulled it off the counter and stashed it somewhere where she could nibble on it daintily without any fear of interruption. But finally, after searching every crack and crevice, we had to accept the truth. That gigantic bone was there on the counter one minute, then it was gone. And there was only a purring, lip-smacking cat where the bone had once been. Zoey had managed to chew up and swallow the entire cooked thigh-bone of a chicken in less than sixty seconds.
We checked the internet and saw all sorts of dire warnings: sharp edges, obstructed bowels, perforated intestines. ARGH!
After calling our veterinarian, we ran out to buy wet cat food, potted chicken meat, pure pumpkin puree and mineral oil to cushion the bone fragments. We fed her this murky-yet-irresistable mix 3-4 times daily. We kept her inside and monitored her closely, often massaging her sides and belly to check for signs of swelling or tenderness. I gave up my bed, sleeping on the couch with kitty in my arms for three nights straight. I woke up every morning and ran to her litter box to dissect her poop, hoping to find clear evidence that the digestive danger had passed. As yet, I have not found any shards of bone among the kitty litter.
Zoey purrs on loudly, absolutely oblivious to the disaster she has managed to survive without any sign of harm.
This has been the best week EVER!!!
It all started when I found a crunchy, yummy chicken bone. Can you believe the humans left that amazing mouthful of yumminess just sitting out on the kitchen counter?
Of course, the human folk freaked out when they realized the precious bone was missing. I thought the game was up when they kept shrieking my name over and over while poking at my lips. I almost felt ashamed of myself for about three or four seconds. But then they started bringing me the most wonderful and delicious tidbits: nibbles of spiced chicken chunks, delicate livers and the most incredible sweet puree. They have finally figured out how to worship me properly!!!
The big hairless kitten I adopted many moons ago now makes the most comfortable bed out of her body and we sleep together in bliss. She hurries to clean my stinky box every morning. She massages my lovely, perfect belly every night.
That chicken bone is the best thing that has ever happened to me. EVER!